“Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today’s lesson?”
I was due to attend the Bafta and BFI Screenwriters’ Lecture Series by renowned writer of Brookside, Cracker, and The Lakes, Jimmy McGovern.
I was going to write about class and Canary Wharf, as Jimmy McGovern’s shows often centre on working class characters.
But I never made it. Instead I got stuck in a vintage dress when the zipper broke, and I dislocated my shoulder trying to escape.
I tell you, Houdini would have struggled with getting out of 1980s polyester.
Taken to bed with a hefty dose of painkillers I awoke, realigned and rested, to the emailed transcript of the previous night’s on stage conversation between Miranda Sawyer and Jimmy McGovern.
And it was marvellous. It was all there: every “Pardon?” every “[Laughter]”. And I thought wouldn’t it be marvellous if you could get a transcript of every evening out you missed?
To read the rest of the column please click here.
You can’t make it through the day without someone commenting on how fast this year’s gone. No one mention the C-word.
Snowflake scattered chocolate has started to appear in the shops. The full onslaught of gift guides and food feasts will soon follow. People are jittery….
To read the rest of the column, please click here.
Ever wondered how your food came to be, well, food? Who worked out that steaming a globe artichoke and scraping the white fleshy bit from the leaves with your teeth tastes good? Some Nigella cave-chef, must have been licking everything that came out the ground to crack that….. Click here to read the rest of this week’s Blonde’s Eye View column.
I’m freelance, so I have my own private office in Canary Wharf.
Yup, whichever cafe chain is in the news that week for not paying tax gets me for one hot chocolate and eight hours of my working day….
To read the rest of the column click here.
Last night I walked in circles around my lounge because I hadn’t hit my daily steps target. I’ve succumbed to the FitBit cult….
Click here for the whole column.
Someone has designed a sex toy for bankers. Because of course they have. This gave cause for me to email my Wharf editor the legendary question: ‘Can I write about a cock ring?’ The answer was: ‘Yes, as long as you don’t call it a cock ring.’ You can read the full article on the link below:
And here’s the frankly amazing advert for the product. Just about safe for work, but not safe for your soul:
“There I was, quietly erasing a day’s worth of work encounters from my mind on the DLR, when Satan’s ass trumpet shattered my reverie.
Are you going travelling? Thinking of blogging about it? Trust me, don’t. Nobody cares, apart from your mum, and even she’s doubtful if she’s got Breaking Bad episodes still to watch. Read my full column on the link below:
In this week’s Wharf column I reminisce about boozy work lunch’s, and wonder if the colleague who’s taken me out has ordered salad because of budgetary or dietary constraints? Full column on the link below:
Here is a link to this week’s column for The Wharf newspaper. Today I’m talking about ‘those people’ who always try to talk to you over private messages on social media and, ultimately, send you a picture of their penis. Just to be clear: I don’t want to talk sexy sexy with you. http://www.wharf.co.uk/2013/08/blondes-eye-view-twitter-pervs.html